What an adventure life gives us...
“Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold” – Maurice Setter
I knew recovery was going to be a slow process but a growing experience that i needed to go through. I am going to tell my story through this blog and my trials and tribulations.
One second I'm living the happiest life I could imagine a great job, great family, great girlfriend in which I was soon going to propose to, great house and car. Not a worry in the world I was truly happy with how things were going. I soon got involved with a friend my girl really didn’t like me to hang out with who soon introduced me to a world that was dark, lonely, depressing, and painful. At the time I didn't think my addiction to what first started as a once every two week would turn into a daily mess. Soon after my girlfriend caught me using and left me so did the support of my family, the loss of my job and I was unable to afford my house and car payment. My world was crumbling but I did have my "Friend" who was always there when I needed my dose. My family in the beginning tried hard to get me to seek help and even visited jail a couple times but you can’t receive help unless you feel you have a problem.
About 6 months into my hard core addiction I lost my place and was living from friend to friend and soon was homeless living in shelters. But I always scrounged up enough money to cover my addiction. One afternoon when I was meeting up with my "Friend" I saw my ex girlfriend who I had missed and loved so much. She didn't see me and I was thankful as I didn't look the same and lost all hope and excitement for living. I turned my head for a second and their she was happy, laughing and holding hands with another man. Yes, that hurt but what was she suppose to do live with me in my current situation? That right there was the motivation I needed. I had lost everything I loved and it couldn’t get any worse so I decided that I wanted to get help. Wow, where to start, that was the most overwhelming part so I decided to call my family and started there and they got me help that I needed. Seeing them after 2 years of my addiction taking full control was the most heartbreaking moment of my life. The tears rolling down my mother’s cheek as she would have never wanted this to happen to anyone she knew let alone her own son. My father knew he had to be strong in this situation and I would ask nothing more from him. It was such a long process and I honestly didn't want to go through it but I needed my life back...maybe not with the same girl but I wanted that type of happiness.
I will explain more in depth about the true addiction in my next post and soon how I received the proper help.