Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Usually druggies and the rehabilitation of them is not associated with upper class or nice things. I was raised in an upper class neighborhood, I went to private boarding schools, was top of my class, had my choice of any college I ever wanted and any career my heart desired....I also could get my hands on any and every drug my friends and I could ever want. Money is a universal language.
Ar first it was just at the parties, and then a few of us took it farther to our weekly trips to the mall or the pool house. We didn't think of it as a problem, it was fun and it kept us skinny and beautiful. Isn't that what it's all about? Everywhere you look if money isn't talking the body is.
You never see the drug addiction coming, at first the need is like an itch you can't scratch just annoying. It doesn't take it long for it to become an angry swarm of bees in you head making you want to rip out your hair to get at them. The gnawing need stabbing the back of your eyes and making you shake and quiver knowing the only way to make it all go away is another hit.
You are no longer skinny and beautiful, you are anorexic and sickly. You look nasty and fragile, like the next breath will snap you in half. That beautiful world I lived in disappeared, and so was I.
An addiction to drugs is no slight issue, the after effects will last the rest of your life, and in lots of way shorten your life because of it.
I thought my life would be absolutely amazing, I would marry an amazing man, have my 2.5 kids and live in an upper class neighborhood and my kids would reap the benefits that I was able too. I got drug addiction treatment, but not soon enough. Now because of my choices, I am in a wheelchair and I may not be able to have kids at all.
And as for the benefits of my life, if I do have any kids, I wont let them think that anything I did or got was a benefit...it was a curse.